Overland Park, KS - Imagine a world without free knowledge. For a really long time, the internet has been collecting vast amounts of information and research, and allowing people to access it. Sure, somewhere around the 1990s, it became a place for people to bitch about movies, put up cliched parodies filled with pop-culture references that aged poorly on Youtube, and Facebook, but still...
Right now, the United States government has officially stopped bitching about whose flawed outlook on life is correct, and decided to create the Stop On-line Piracy Act. The Stop On-line Piracy Act, better known as SOPA, PIPA, and "That bill that'll criple a good two-thirds of the internet and make it a lot easier for some prick to eliminate your website on the count they're sick of your shit on their internet" has resulted in the day of January 18, 2012 to be official "internet blackout day".
Now imagine a bunch of morons with fake journalism degrees they printed off at a Kinkos misunderstanding the message of the blackouts, and covering every computer monitor in the office with whiteout. Seriously, how the hell do you make that mistake!? Black and white aren't even the same color!
"Well this mishap isn't as odd as you'd think," said Darwin (last name unknown): owner of The Idiot News Network's parent company of Idiot Gallery Productions. "These guys are all a bunch of simpletons. They thought Youtube videos consisting of photos of plastic army men with funny voice overs would be worthy of Youtube partnership back in 2007, they thought a professional wrestler by the name of Vampiro could beat Chuck Norris, and... Frankly, I don't even want to go into their F2M transsexual human centipede beauty pageant idea they came up with last week."
When asked what kind of set back this attempt at joining a protest gone horribly askew would cost the company, Darwin simply shrugged.
"Whatever it costs," said Darwin, "I'm going to have to pay it. Seriously, I'm thinking of hiring smarter employees. Employees that don't turn out to be split personalities in my head obsessed with The Human Centipede movies."